Baristas everywhere. Do me a favor and stop making super strong lattes with large double shots of espresso by default. That might be trendy nowadays, and your hipster audience might like it. But you’re doing it wrong.
The whole concept of a double latte is flawed. Latte was invented for people who can’t handle strong espresso. It’s a watered down (or more accurately a milk-diluted) pansy-assed American form of the cappuccino, which is a stronger drink with more foam. If I wanted my latte strong, I’d order a cappuccino. Or I’d just get a shot of espresso.
Don’t get me wrong; I’m not calling latte drinkers wimps. I actually enjoy making myself a nice latte every weekend as a little break from my daily jet black coffee. And that’s the point; it’s a break from the strength of the heavy coffee drink. It’s a nice refreshing way to enjoy a bit of caffeine without all the harshness you need during the weekday mornings.
Which is why it drives me nuts when I’m out somewhere and I order a latte, only to get a punch in the face from this double-espresso monstrosity. Its like buying a minivan then putting a supercharger in it. Just own the fact that you’ve given up on excitement and drive the minivan with pride. (Not in the passing lane, though, please.)
And while we’re on the subject, it’s whole milk in the latte. I know two percent and soy milk foam effortlessly; that’s beside the point. Two percent tastes like water. If I wanted water, I would have ordered an Americano. Soy isn’t even milk. It’s fine for people who are allergic or lactose intolerant, I guess, but otherwise, keep it away from the rest of us.
What I’m saying is that it’s fine to have those as options, but I shouldn’t have to ask for whole milk in order to get it. That would be like ordering a hamburger and having to tell them “Beef, please, not turkey or tofu.”
Excess foam is for cappuccinos, anyway. Lattes are supposed to just be steamed milk, and they’re supposed to taste good. And since this is an American drink we’re talking about, they’re also supposed to be fattening.
If you like your overly caffeinated, non-milk, wannabe cappuccino lattes, that’s fine. Let’s just give that drink another name, so I can order a latte without giving special instructions on how to do it properly.